Big Times in Bean Town

I guess if I were to put stock in the old adage, "home is where the heart is," then it would be correct to say I spent last weekend at home - sleeping in an unfamiliar bed in an apartment I'd never seen before, in a city I barely knew. The city was Boston. The unfamiliar apartment belonged to a friend from California, and the bed belonged to one of his two roommates who were conveniently absent for the 4-day invasion of my old Berkeley small group.

In the first of what I hope to be a long tradition of small group reunions, six of the original ten of us (along with two significant others and a myriad of random friends) spent the holiday weekend exploring the city, chilling on the Boston Commons, watching world cup soccer, getting 2nd breakfast at Dunkin' Donuts, jogging along the Charles River (to work off second breakfast), fighting for the single shower in Kyle's small downtown apartment, and just generally enjoying each other's presence.

I talked in a recent blog entry about good friendships being those that make you feel more like yourself, and I think it bears repeating. It is SO IMPORTANT for us to know and be known by people. Some might argue that it is a sigh of weakness to allow others to define who you are, but I am proud to think that this group of friends impacted my life deeply enough to make a lasting impression on who I am.

Ironically, on my plane ride to Boston, I was reading a commentary entitled "The Demise of Friendship." In the article, Ellen Goodman recounts a recent study which revealed that 25% of Americans have no one to talk to about the things that are really important to them. She goes on to state that "social isolation is as big a risk factor for premature death as smoking."

Reading the article made me feel lucky and sad at the same time. Lucky, because, though I sometimes feel lonely, "social isolation" is hardly a phenomonen in my busy life. I know I am surrounded, both in Boulder and by friends far and wide, by people who care about me. I know that, in today's "wired" world, that is no small thing. But the article also made me sad for those whose loneliness penetrates more deeply, for those who truly don't have anyone to call when the going gets rough. If one of the beautiful things about friendships is their ability to help define who you are, no wonder social isolation has such devastating ramifications.

Its enough to make me want to head out to a local coffee shop and strike up a conversation with a total stranger. If I can't have my old small group back again (I can't understand why they haven't all packed up their bags and followed me out to Boulder), then I might as well work on fighting social isolation locally, one person at a time. After all, each of us seems to be wandering around this world hoping we're not really alone. Seems like we might as well be doing it together.