Twixters

I was talking with some friends last weekend about a Time magazine article I read months ago on "Twixters," their term for people who are no longer adolescents, but not yet adults. The article talked about a whole new life stage that is emerging, due to the fact that people are staying in school longer, marrying later, and jumping from job to job. According to the article, the median age for a woman to marry 30 years ago was 21. 21!!! Today it is somewhere between 25 and 30 (whew, I still have a few years).

We talked alittle bit about what defines adulthood, and why so many of us believe it is a life stage we have yet to really enter. While getting married and starting a family may be one of society's definitions, we also decided that "adults" were people who were financially independant and able to make responsible decisions for themselves.

I reflected on this awhile and wondered why I don't feel like an adult, despite meeting several of the definitions of adulthood that we came up with. Part of me is starting to think that there is another key aspect to adulthood which few of my friends and I qualify for. And that is, having a well-defined future. A year ago today, I would never have guessed that I would be moving to CO this past summer. I was actually mulling over an opportunity to move to Portland.

Friends pass in and out of my life, as people move from place to place every few years. Many people in their 20's cringe at the thought of signing a year-long lease. Who knows what will happen in so much time? Let's face it, most of my friends can't even commit on Wednesday to plans for Saturday night. After all, something better might come along. And for those of us single folk, life can be turned upside down at any moment by meeting that 'special someone' who shifts our priorities away from ourselves. It's not just hard to predict where I'll be a year from now, it's downright impossible.

From my vantage point in the throes of 'emerging adulthood,' it seems that adults have less change in their lives, and fewer unknowns. They live in the same place longer, keep the same friends, the same jobs, and are surrounded by the same family members. And there is something comforting in that. Adulthood isn't a bad thing. I just don't think I'm there yet.