Missing Cali

I've had a rough week here in Colorado. Sometimes I go through these periods where I miss California in a big way. I miss 'home', and the sense of belonging that comes with it.

The irony of this homesickness for California is not lost on me. When I interviewed with Carollo as a 1st year grad student at Illinois, I remember specifically telling my potential employer that I just couldn't see myself living in California. Their office in Seattle sounded great, Portland too. But California? My brother always referred to it as the land of fruits and nuts. I have to admit, I tended to agree. I was too normal to move to a place like San Fran.

For whatever reason, by my 2nd year of grad school, I was willing to at least give CA a try. Carollo flew me out to the bay area for an interview. I remember driving my rental car from the Oakland airport across the bay bridge and actually crying at the sight of San Francisco, the glistening bay, and the green hills of Marin. What a dramatic change from the cornfields of Illinois. It was beautiful.

And so I spent three years living among the 'California crazies' - navigating my way through the tie-dyed t-shirts of Berkeley and watching in wonder as Arnold was elected Governor. I continued to laugh at California's over-the-top liberal ways, but I began to find myself surrounded by community - at work, at church, in every activity I was involved in. California, the land of fruits and nuts, was my home.

During my father's 50th birthday a few years ago, he took the time to reflect on his life, and he wrote down "lessons" he had learned from each of his family members. From me, he said, he learned that experiences are the key to life, and people are the key to experiences. I am amazed at how often I come back to that - it is a simple concept, yet it is at the core of who I am. And it reminds me that it doesn't matter where I live - whether in Granola California or Conservative Colorado, it is the people I surround myself with that matter. They, more than anything else, define home for me. And that is an exciting thought. It means that, even if I don't love everything about Colorado, I can still belong here. Sigh, there is hope for me yet.